Boyfriend’s Grandma Is ‘Demanding’ Woman Donates to Fundraiser: ‘She Won’t Take No for an Answer’

A woman turns to Reddit after her boyfriend’s grandmother repeatedly asked — and then demanded — money for a family fundraiser she couldn’t afford

A woman is turning to Reddit for support after her boyfriend’s grandmother began repeatedly asking — and then demanding — money from her.

She refers to her boyfriend as Alex and his grandmother as Carol to lay out the family dynamic. Carol initiated a church fundraiser, asking each family member to donate an amount determined by doubling their shoe size.

The poster shares in her post, “Shortly after we first met, he told me that his grandma and his mom tend to ask for money a lot.”

She has seen this pattern firsthand, noting that “it’s not chump change either,” and that her boyfriend “works hard but still has his own bills to pay and worry about as well as attempt to have a bit of a savings account.”

She and Alex recently overhauled their budget, focusing on debt repayment and building savings, which leaves little room for unexpected expenses. “I personally planned my check out to the last, like $20 which was a buffer from check to check after all of our other obligations are met,” she explains.

The timing of Carol’s request couldn’t have been worse, as the poster says, “I really didn’t have the donation amount. I’m not in the business of going into my personal savings for something like this.”

Given the frequency of these requests, she drew a boundary: “I told Alex that I would not be participating in any of the fundraisers they do nor would I be having money talks with them because our/my money is our/my business, not theirs.”

Despite her clear stance, Carol has persisted for over a month, escalating from asking to demanding. “It’s the principle behind it,” she writes. “You can ask, but once you get your answer… you have your answer.”

The situation has grown increasingly uncomfortable, with Carol involving other family members in group FaceTime calls that the poster refuses to answer.

“She called Alex and argued with him to give me the phone for this money,” she recounts, but credits Alex for shutting it down immediately.

Still, she worries that if she doesn’t address Carol herself, “it’s going to turn into a whole thing.” The poster is firm in her position: “Bottom line is I’m not participating, and no is a complete sentence.” She also objects to Carol’s approach, saying, “I don’t agree with her volunteering my money to something she didn’t run by me first either. It’s just not cool.”

The poster questions whether it would be inappropriate to reach out to Carol directly and ask her to stop. “I don’t feel comfortable with her demanding money from me even if it’s for a good cause,” she insists.

She emphasizes that she already contributes to her own community and is not heartless, but “it really is just the principle behind it and the fact that she is not taking no for an answer from him.”