High-Earning Mom Accused by In-Laws of ‘Breaking Up’ Family After Moving Closer to Her Job: ‘I’m Selfish for Taking Their Grandchild Away’

The woman wrote on Reddit that the move considerably shortens her commute to work and her toddler’s daycare — but her in-laws are not happy they now live an hour away

A woman is questioning whether she was wrong to move an hour away with her husband and toddler, after her in-laws accused her of “breaking up” their family.

In a recent post shared on Reddit‘s Am I the A——? forum, the woman opened up about deciding to move to a suburban town much closer to her job and the daycare center where she and her husband send their child. She shared that her in-laws were furious about the decision.

“Context: I’m an engineer and I make decent money for our family of 3,” the woman began her post, explaining her family’s financial situation. “My husband works in a call center and makes an average income. I cover the large bills, childcare expenses, home expenses i.e. food, items from wear and tear, clothing etc. I’m the person he relies on when he’s short on cash or rent (I pay 60%, he covers 40%).”

According to the woman, they just recently moved to their new home, located about an hour away from her husband’s mother and two older sisters.

“In the past, I would have to drive over an hour with my toddler in the car to work and daycare. I’m responsible for pick ups and drop offs (working full-time). It became super stressful with traffic and a screaming toddler,” she continued, sharing one of the big motivating factors for the move.

Despite her reasoning — wanting to be closer to work and having a much easier time with daycare logistics — her husband’s family has still accused her of being “selfish” for “taking their son/brother and grandchild away from them.”

Sharing more context, the woman revealed that she used to live even closer to her in-laws, as they told her that they would be able to help with childcare.

“[But] that never happened, because we lived 15 minutes from their home, which was too far. We had to be within a 5km [about 3.1 miles] radius,” she wrote.

Now, the woman is asking for feedback from the Reddit community about the situation. She ended her post, “I told them that I’m the one providing for this family as I make more money, now they [say] I’m gloating and breaking up their family.”

Commenters mostly shared the same opinion: The woman’s completely in the right.

“Your child comes first, and 2 hours in the car every day when it isn’t necessary isn’t good for your child. Nope. [Not the a——],” one person wrote. “I love how people accuse others of being selfish when they put themselves in front of the needs of a small child.”

Still, others questioned the woman seeming to party justify the move on the basis that she makes more money than her husband.

“Moving doesn’t make you [the a——], but saying a 60/40 split means you get to make the decisions 100% does,” one commenter wrote. “If your husband got a big raise or a new job and he was paying more, would you be okay moving wherever he wanted?”

“You are [not the a——] for moving, but definitely for the comment on wages,” another person added. “Not keeping a tally [on who makes more money] is much better for your marriage. So is presenting a united front on big decisions, such as where you live.”