Woman Wants to Speak at Family Funeral but Says Her Aunt Is Being ‘Weird’ About a Very Specific Issue

The 38-year-old says her aunt did not have “polite things” to say regarding the subject

• A 38-year-old woman shared that her cousin asked her to speak at a family funeral, and that she “said yes without even thinking about it”
• However, the woman, who noted that she is “not religious,” said that her aunt is now upset that she will be speaking at a Catholic service
• The woman detailed her story on Reddit to get input and advice from her fellow Redditors, and opinions were divided on what she should do next

A woman is claiming that she was planning to speak at a family funeral — but her aunt is now acting “weird” about it, and she’s now unsure how to proceed.

The 38-year-old detailed her story on the Reddit forum “Am I the A——,” in order to get input and advice from her fellow Redditors. In her post, the woman shared that her Auntie Barb “died a little over a week ago.”

She explained that while her aunt was a practicing Catholic, she is personally “not religious” and can frequently be “heard talking s—” about the Chruch. Regardless, she said that her aunt’s daughter “texted me and asked if I would be willing to do a reading at the funeral.”

“I obviously said yes [without] even thinking about [it],” she shared, adding, “I’d do anything for [my] cousin right now.”

The woman said that she then received an email from her uncle, Auntie Barb’s husband, with a list of the other readers and instructions and “that was that.”

However, the Redditor noted that she then began receiving “weird and confusing” texts from her other aunt, “Auntie Cathy,” who told her she thought it was “weird” that she was doing a reading at the service.

The woman said she ultimately found out that Auntie Cathy, who is still a practicing Catholic, claimed “it’s very offensive to Catholics when non-Catholics participate in Catholic [mass].”

The original poster (OP) said that she messaged her aunt and explained that she is “not trying to offend” and is merely “trying to support my cousin.”

“I also suggested that if she had a problem, she should speak directly to my cousin and uncle, who were planning the funeral service,” she added.

The woman highlighted that her aunt did not have “polite things” to say in return and communicated that she feels as though the OP should have declined the offer to read in the first place.

“I think Auntie Cathy should have either contacted my cousin/uncle to express her concern, or minded her own business,” the OP continued, before asking her fellow Reddit users if she would be an “a——” if she doesn’t mention any of this to her cousin and just does the reading “as planned.”

A number of Reddit users said they didn’t think the OP had any obligation to say anything to her cousin — and that her aunt overstepped.

“NTA [not the a——],” one person wrote. “Auntie C can mind her own business. Your cousin and her dad are the immediate family of Auntie B. They get to decide. You do not need to discuss this with anyone other than the 2 people in charge.”

Several others, however, noted that while they think the OP’s aunt is overreacting, the OP should still probably reach out to her cousin in order to avoid potential drama.

“I would contact your cousin just to make sure it’s ok because you heard otherwise and you don’t want to stress them out with last minute changes (because I would not be surprised if your aunt expresses her concern to the priest),” said one person.

Another Redditor added: “Typically readers [at funerals] are catholic, but the pastor can permit others to do so for a good cause — like the funeral of a loved one. Not all dioceses or pastors will permit this, so yes, your cousin should ask.”

“Nobody with an ounce of compassion would blame a grieving daughter for overlooking this. But now that you know, it would be unkind to say nothing to your cousin; she probably doesn’t want to go against the rules of her mother’s faith,” the same person continued.