Heartbroken Mom Severs Ties with In-Laws After Daughter’s Death, Says ‘They Chose Not to Be There’ for Her

After losing her 6-year-old daughter to cancer, a mom shares on Reddit how her in-laws’ repeated absences led her to cut off all contact with them

A grieving woman is turning to the Reddit community for support after the unimaginable loss of her 6-year-old daughter, seeking answers and comfort in the aftermath of family heartbreak.

The mother, 35, has been married to her husband for 12 years, and together they have two children. “My daughter, 4 at the time, was discovered to have a tumor in her abdomen after experiencing 14 months of intermittent leg pain,” she explains in her post.

Doctors struggled to find the cause, and when they finally did, the family braced themselves for the worst. She describes how, in her fear, she shut everyone out except her own mom and husband.

“My mom drove 8 hours to support us while they went through the diagnostic process,” she recalls, grateful for her mother’s unwavering presence. Her husband, meanwhile, reached out to his own parents, asking them to come and support him during this difficult time.

But her in-laws declined, saying they had to watch her sister-in-law’s kids. “For context, my in-laws live five hours away and SIL lives 25 minutes from me,” she notes.

At that point, doctors believed the tumor was benign, and surgery was scheduled for two months later.

Throughout the summer, the in-laws remained unavailable “because they were always watching SIL’s kids since their dad wasn’t pulling his weight,” the poster writes.

When the surgery date finally arrived, the poster’s mother came once again to support the family through what would become a life-changing ordeal.

The surgery revealed the tumor was much more serious than anyone had hoped. “The tumor was so large that it took up all of the free space on the right side of her abdomen,” the mom shares, recalling the doctor’s struggle to remove it. Only 60% could be taken out, and soon after, the pathology report confirmed their fears that it was cancer.

Her daughter faced an intense treatment plan that included five rounds of chemotherapy, two stem cell rescues and six rounds of immunotherapy. The family had to isolate themselves to protect their daughter from infection.

“My kids were always close to their grandparents,” she writes, the loss of that bond compounding their pain. Her mother-in-law offered to help once but backed out, saying she couldn’t handle wearing a mask for eight hours.

In their efforts to protect their daughter, the couple asked that the in-laws visit only their children, not the other grandchildren, to minimize the risk of illness.

“All throughout treatment, my daughter cried that she missed grandma,” the mother remembers. But the in-laws refused, insisting that if they couldn’t see both sets of grandkids, they wouldn’t come at all.

The parents tried to compromise, suggesting the in-laws split their visit between the two families. “They just chose to stay away instead,” she says. During the stem cell rescues, the family’s isolation grew even more intense, limited to just the poster, her husband and her mom as they fought to keep their daughter safe.

When her daughter was finally able to be around people again, the in-laws still did not visit. The little girl enjoyed a few months of relative normalcy before the cancer returned, spreading aggressively.

“She was in so much pain. She just wanted to be with family and see her grandma,” the mother shares. The poster’s grandmother only came when her sister wanted to meet the child, and even then, the visit was brief.

“They saw her for a few days after Christmas,” she writes. As her daughter’s condition deteriorated, the mother called everyone close to say goodbye, but the in-laws still did not come.

“My daughter passed away in January. She fought so hard, but she couldn’t beat the cancer,” the mother shares. The pain of her daughter’s absence has been deepened by the sense of betrayal from her in-laws, whom she feels did not prioritize their sick grandchild.

“I am hurt and angry with them because they hurt my daughter,” she writes. “She cried so much about missing grandma. They knew she was sick and she had a high probability of not surviving this.”

Now, five months after her daughter’s death, her husband has asked her to move past the hurt for the sake of their family.

“They took offense when he tried to address it, which was already hard for my husband to do,” she explains. Their response: “Wow. Nothing we do is enough for you guys.” The comment left the couple feeling even more isolated.

The poster has instead chosen to cut off all communication with her in-laws, refusing to welcome them into her home. “I will not interfere with the relationship that my husband or son have with them but I will not do anything to foster it,” she states.

Her husband is angry and feels she is being unreasonable, but for her, the decision is about protecting herself from further pain.

“Doesn’t your husband realise they didn’t even try to support any of you? I’d die on this hill. What awful people. I’m very sorry for your loss,” writes one commenter.

“They sound like the worst people in the entire world. How can your husband even look at them? That is so mean that your poor little girl kept asking for her grandmother, but grandmother couldn’t be bothered,” adds another. “I would do the same thing you’re doing.”